Relationships with the child are formed over the years, but many are based on manipulation. Sometimes hidden and not aggressive, but still this helpless management, based on the lack of desire to clarify and help to deal with errors.
Quite a few, that the child ate, dressed, did homework, collected toys and performed many other urgent and important things from the point of view of relatives, exert pressure. Manipulation of adults can be in different ways to influence the baby:
However, regardless of the option, this is an incorrect choice.
Understanding the motives of such manipulations, it is necessary to find out what ultimate goal interests parents. On the path of least resistance you will only get children's fear. Think about it, because children fulfill their tasks because of a feeling of pain from punishment (both physical and mental), and not because they realize the need.
Otherwise, you can teach your child to correct his mistakes and apply the concept of responsibility. What it is? It's simple. Every time when you can not reach the child and go to the cry (or voice the punishment, choose your option), you should calm down, count to ten and explain the consequences of his failure to the kid. Not horrors of failures and gloomy prospects, colored by your reaction, namely objective consequences of an action. For example, tell the child calmly and affectionately, why it is necessary to eat regularly, go to kindergarten and learn. Be consistent in reasoning and tell the child everything at an affordable level, taking into account the age and knowledge of the baby.
Instead of punishment for misdemeanors, use the arsenal of democratic education style. Reasonable ways and competent approach, the guarantee of good relations for many years, because this is the basis of trust and mutual assistance.
Acute situations that occur in life are much harder to correct, and at such times, emotionally heated parents can not restrain anger and irritation. To identify the emotional causes of a child's misconduct should be talked in a relaxed environment, so in many cases, psychologists recommend not to make a fit of hysteria, and postpone important conversations at an opportune time. Requirements, without building a dialogue, do not give positive results. Yes, it is likely that the child will be afraid of you, will unquestioningly fulfill all requests because of fear of punishment, but the awareness of the need to do so, and not otherwise, it will not appear at the same time.
In young children, the trajectory of relationships is formed on the basis of imitation, so how will you address your children, and they will appeal to you, subconsciously tailoring the behavior of adults. By the way, the tonality of pastime is very important. If you do not consider it necessary to talk with the child, take joint readings and discussions as an obvious waste of your time, get angry if there is no instant result, you should not even start a dialogue. The situation is dead-end, so you have to start from the other end - from yourself.
The results of the reasoning can be summarized as follows:
- evaluate the actions of the child, not the baby;
- do not read the notation, reason and explain;
- do not hurry;
- Pay attention to the child (not only when you call him or do not start running around in puddles);
- identify the causes of children's actions.
Given that all circumstances are purely individual, listen more to your heart than a lot of hints from others.